They are easy to spot, zombies: they are the insensitive, disconnected pods that roam around, breathing potential hell into their colleagues and neighbors. They stumble awkwardly in the midst of overcrowded rooms, their masks either missing or pulled around their chins, and relentlessly spread their odorless danger as they scream. Steve Saunders, the raven’s strength trainer? Clearly a zombie. The Denver Broncos quarterbacks, Drew Lock, Blake Bortles, Brett Rypien, and Jeff Driskel, are a whole cohort of zombies, mobile in body but with empty skulls, loose and obviously less cooperative about their contacts. One thing about zombies is that not only are they unthinkable. You are aggressively unthinkable.

When you see a zombie you have to scream – scream their names out loud. It’s unclear if this can stop a zombie because they’re naturally blind, deaf, selfish, and unsuspecting organisms: Saunders has reportedly been working with symptoms, leaving feverish handprints throughout the Ravens facility, and now it’s 30 Infected people. from quarterback Lamar Jackson to nutritionist. Maybe loud public shame could at least give the zombies a break, long enough for people to run the other way.

As Pittsburgh Steelers cornerback Joe Haden tweeted last week, “They always blew our names on the TV screen when we broke the rules! Put a face on it. “

Despite all of the hermetic doors making a hissing noise, there was evidence of a zombie-like incursion into the NFL headquarters at Park Avenue headquarters. The league’s determination to get the Ravens and Pittsburgh Steelers to play on a Wednesday at 3:40 p.m. after three postponements is purely worrying. There is something that feels forced, involuntary, and creepy. It’s like league officials mistaking frenzied activity for beating the virus. But then they just reflect their audience in it.

Because zombie ism isn’t limited to these teams or just the NFL. Lately there have been signs of zombification among many Americans. They may come across as gruff individualists, but the giveaway is that they are always in mobs looking for something to eat.

Speaking of zombie meals, the San Francisco 49ers should be wary of eating out in Arizona, where they’ll be playing now, as the number of virus hospitals at home has tripled in a month. The 49ers would do well to avoid restaurants in the Phoenix area like Houston and Bandera as they are owned by the Hillstone Group, which is apparently entirely zombie-run. Back in May, the company’s vacant managers ordered employees not to wear face masks until a Dallas employee had to assert the right to wear protective clothing at work. A local coronavirus model from Arizona now predicts that a new virus surge will be “a major forest fire with no evacuation order” unless the state mandates masking. Hillstone restaurants are reluctant to enforce masks – but they forbid diners from wearing hats, tank tops, flip flops, and team sportswear.

Another thing about zombies is that they tend to be very bellicose, but they howl in outrage at any action that could get in their way, and they are very evasive. Saunders of the Ravens and the four Broncos Quarterbacks have reportedly dumped their tracking devices on display in the league, making it harder to track down infections. For the ravens, this meant positive testing for nine days during Thanksgiving. Defensive end Calais Campbell, who has asthma, got sick enough to tweet, “This virus is brutal! I pray nobody else has to go through this. “

However, a classic characteristic of zombies is that they are not affected by injuries to themselves or to others. You’re untouched by cases like those of Jacksonville Jaguars, who are repatriating Ryquell Armstead, who is only 24 years old and yet has been hospitalized twice with breathing problems, and 25-year-old Buffalo Bills, Tommy Sweeney, who developed myocarditis. As we know, zombies are highly emotionless and unimaginative so that they are unable to project themselves into a hospital bed. The zombies in the locker rooms feel pre-vaccinated by their physical superiority and their privileged dwellings, which have been strengthened by private laboratory tests.

Perhaps the most terrifying thing about zombies is their vacancy. They have an empty recklessness with the assumption that no plague can touch them, and it is not least important when it touches others. If the zombie metaphor has any meaning in all of these horror films, then it’s a moral void in a culture that went completely wrong through negligence.

Zombies don’t have to be bats bitten, red-eyed, scary and reassembled. You can be stalker and sleeper. Executives, colleagues, neighbors who look completely normal. And they can be real. The only clue is their utter complacency as they stare at signs of exponential infection, intensive care unit capacity, and skyrocketing death rates, and yet perkily try to colonize your lungs. Don’t just avoid them. Call them out for others to see.

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